


here we go again (I kinda wanna be more than friends)

by Penda



Category: Big Wolf on Campus
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5859883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penda/pseuds/Penda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing was, Tommy thought later, was that it shouldn't really have surprised him. He knew he wasn't the smartest person on the planet, but he was far from the stupidest either, so it shouldn't have completely blind-sided him the way it did. But, as it happened that was how it went, and there wasn't anything he could do to change it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	here we go again (I kinda wanna be more than friends)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm pretty sure this is actually the longest thing I've ever written. I thought I would maybe manage 4000 words with this but here I am with double that, yay me! I'm not good at writing long things, I find it hard to keep the thread of the story that long. Having said that, this fic started out in a completely different place to where it ended up, so I hope it reads OK. I'm also contemplating a little follow up because there were one or two things I wanted to include in this that I left out because I felt like I should end it where I did here.
> 
> The title is from this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM7Hlg75Mlo which I have adopted as my official Tommy/Merton anthem.

The thing was, Tommy thought later, was that it shouldn't really have surprised him. He knew he wasn't the smartest person on the planet, but he was far from the stupidest either, so it shouldn't have completely blind-sided him the way it did. But, as it happened that was how it went, and there wasn't anything he could do to change it.

 But anyway, the thing was, was that he knew Merton got picked on. This was high school, and not only that it was high school in a small town where, if you couldn't be pigeon-holed into a nice, predetermined box you were essentially committing social suicide and dooming yourself to a fate of ostracism from your peers. And Merton was one such ostracised individual.

Tim and Travis, he had noticed since befriending Merton, made almost daily attempts to stuff him into his locker, not to mention the general derision his presence seemed to draw from the rest of the student body. Of course Tommy stood up for Merton, they were friends, and dumb jock he occasionally may be, he wasn't about to stand by and let his best friend be picked on. No matter how weird he happened to be.

Yet still, he had been completely unprepared for the day that he'd been walking to class, his only thought on whether or not his homework was supposed to be due this week and not next week after all, when he smelled the sickly, and unmistakable scent of human blood.

He jerked to a stop, the wolf rattling the metaphorical bars of his mind, because he knew, with a visceral, shuddering intensity, that it was _Merton's_ blood. He turned sharply, heading for the bathrooms, the wolf leading the way, even as the human part of his mind tried to helpfully supply that _the smell is faint, it can't be that much blood_ -

The bang of the bathroom door being flung open resounded around the room, and Merton (who Tommy was relieved to note appeared to be in one piece) jumped violently. His friend turned from the sink he was standing in front of to face him. There was a bloodied tissue clenched in his hand and a smear of red under his nose.

“Jesus Tommy, you scared me!”

“What happened? Are you OK?” Tommy said, completely ignoring his friend's words as he strode over, examining Merton for any other injuries.

“I'm fine!” Merton said, batting Tommy's hands away as he tried to get a better look at the damage done to Merton's face. It didn't look _too_ bad, just a bloody nose he reasoned, but still.

 “Merton, what happened?” he asked again. The wolf was pacing (metaphorically of course) in his mind and it needed answers, fast.

“Oh, I uh, It's nothing, don't worry about it. My locker door was stuck and when I tried to pull it open it hit me in the face. No big deal.” He offered Tommy an embarrassed smile.

While Merton hitting himself in the face with his locker door wasn't too far-fetched (really Tommy had never known anyone as accident prone as Merton), something felt... _off_ about his explanation.

“Did someone hit you?” He said, the thought hitting him like, well, like a fist.

Merton rolled his eyes, “No, Tommy, no one hit me, now if you don't mind I'd like to get to class. Some of us actually like History. ”

He still wasn't buying it, but the wolf was winding down now that it could see Merton wasn't in any immediate danger, so Tommy let it go. For now.

He switched tactics.

“At least let me look at it first, OK?” He pleaded, giving Merton his best puppy face.

He could pinpoint the exact moment his resolve crumbled as he sighed, moving forward so Tommy can get a better look at his nose. He prodded his best friend's face gently, and Merton wrinkled his nose, wincing. The warmth of him underneath his fingertips was oddly reassuring, and after a moment longer he dropped his hands, satisfied that his friend was alright.

“Well, what's the diagnosis Doctor Dawkins? Will I live?” He said, giving him a wry smile.

Tommy smiled back, glad they were back in familiar territory.

“Oh, I think you'll pull through. If you're lucky it won't even bruise.”

Merton's smile wavered just a fraction but Tommy caught it. The _wolf_ caught it. Before he could add anything more Merton moved, picking up his bag from the floor.

“Let's go, OK? We're like, 10 minutes late to class.”

Merton breezed past him and out of the door before he can reply, leaving Tommy feeling strangely lost. He resolved to keep an eye on Merton. _Even more so than usual_ , he thought, as he caught up to him, throwing an arm across his shoulders.

 

\---------------

 

Luck, for once, appeared to be on Merton's side. His nose doesn't bruise, and other than needing the occasional rescue from Tim and Travis and/or Pleasantville's monster of the week, things continued on as normal. In fact, Tommy had almost forgotten the incident, and his Protect-Merton-From-His Surroundings-And-Occasionally-From-Himself instincts had settled down to a normal level.

That is, until about two weeks later, he walked into class for third period and Merton wasn't there. He frowned at the empty seat, sharing a glance with Lori, who shrugged, looking as concerned as he felt. Merton wouldn't be caught dead skipping class (Gym not withstanding). He sat down as class started, and he felt the wolf stir at the back of his mind, instinct telling him something was wrong. Merton didn't show up at all over the next hour, and Tommy grew more and more agitated by the minute. When class was finally over Tommy rushed out, with Lori close behind him. They exchanged a meaningful look.

“You haven't seen him either?” said Lori, worry creeping into her voice.

Tommy shook his head. “Not since first period.”

Lori groaned, muttering under her breath. “ _Can't take your eyes off of him for one second_.”

Tommy ignored the wolf, who was (unhelpfully) trying to convince him to tear the school apart until he found Merton, and tried to form a plan.

“Right, you check his locker Lori, I'll check-”

He stopped mid sentence and cocked his head. He could hear something. He ignored Lori, who was asking what was wrong, ignored the chatter of the school around them, closed his eyes, and focused.

A metallic knocking, tinny and distant.

_“Hello...?”_

Merton.

He took off running before he even registered that he'd done it, and he can feel the wolf rippling under his skin, drawing him on.

He found himself around the back of the school, behind the gym, and this close he could hear the knocking without the aid of his werewolf hearing. It was coming from the rickety old storage shed where some of the outdoor sports equipment was stored.

He ripped the door open, the lock giving like tissue under his (now alarmingly furry) hands.

Merton blinked at the sudden rush of daylight. “Tommy?” His eyes widened as he caught sight of his friend's yellow eyes and rapidly elongating canines, before he grabbed hold of Tommy's jacket and pulled him into the shed with him, closing the door behind them.

“What if someone had seen you?” Merton hissed, stepping backwards and almost tripping over a carelessly discarded badminton net.

Tommy automatically reached out to steady him, glad of the contact, feeling his rapid heartbeat begin to slow now that he'd successfully located Merton.

“Never mind that” he hissed back “What were you doing in here, why weren't you in class?”

Merton stiffened under his hands and Tommy, who had marginally better night vision thanks to the wolf, could just say make out the panic that flitted across his best friend's face in the dark shed.

“Uhm, well, you see, funny story-” Merton squeaked, laughing nervously.

“Did someone lock you in here?” Tommy interrupted before Merton could get going with his, no doubt convoluted, lie. “Was it the same guy who hit you in the face a couple of weeks ago?”

“No!” Merton replied, too quickly and too vehemently for Tommy's liking “And I told you, nobody hit me in the face-”

Tommy moved his hands to Merton's shoulders, stilling him, not sure if the contact was for his own benefit or for Merton's.

“Merton, you know the biggest secret in my whole life.” He said, sincerely. "You can trust me.”

There was a long, heavy pause, and Tommy can just make out Merton trying to read his expression in the dark of the shed.

“I...it's- OK!” Merton said eventually, regaining some of his usual manic energy. “Yes, it was the same guys, _but,_ it doesn't matter, just-”

“Guys?” Tommy jumped in, cutting him off again. “How many of them were there? Just tell me who they were and I'll make sure they leave you alone-” He could feel himself wolfing out again but he didn't even want to stop it, how dare they think they could get away with this, he was so angry he-

“Tommy!”

Tommy stopped talking, the wolf stilled, retreated.

“Not that I don't appreciate you jumping to defend me, but you can't really solve all your problems, or mine for that matter, with a little wolfy threatening.” Merton shrugged, shoulders shifting under Tommy's hands. “Besides, it's nothing I haven't handled before. Maybe not what I was expecting from Senior year, but-”

Light suddenly flooded the shed, momentarily blinding them.

“There you guys are! What are you doing in there?”

It was Lori.

“I've upgraded from lockers.” Merton dead-panned, stepping past Tommy and out of the shed.

“Tommy I swear, next time you take off like that without me I'm gonna- oh my god Merton! What happened to your face?”

Tommy spun around, seeing Merton's face clearly for the first time since he'd found him in the shed.

“What? What's wrong with my face?” Merton panicked. Lori handed him her pocket mirror so he could assess the damage.

There was a bruise forming along Merton's right cheek, the colours standing out with livid sharpness against his pale complexion. It would be a deep purple by tomorrow.

“Ow,” he hissed as he prodded his cheekbone tentatively “having this much colour in my cheeks is going to ruin my Goth image.”

Tommy snatched the mirror off him, and handed it back to Lori.

“This isn't funny Merton! Just tell me who did it!”

Merton scowled at him, “Just drop it OK- both of you.” he added as Lori opened her mouth to interject. “Neither of you can afford to start getting into fights right now.”

He was right, to be honest. After what happened at her last school the teachers were keeping a sharp on eye on Lori's behaviour, and Tommy had his football captaincy on the line, not to mention the state of his grades.

“At least just tell us who it was?” Lori wheedled “I promise we won't do anything, I just don't want it turn out I'm friends with someone who's been giving one of my _best_ friends trouble.” she smiled sweetly at him, putting a hand on his shoulder. This was distinctly un-Lori-like behaviour in Tommy's opinion, but Merton was too distracted by the sympathy and show of camaraderie to notice.

Merton chewed his lip, and Tommy could practically see the gears turning in his head as he weighed his options.

“Fine, It was Chuck and some of his brainless friends, I don't really know their names. “ he relented eventually. “But don't get involved alright? It'll only complicate things and I don't need you getting dragged into anymore of my messes, I do that enough as it is.”

They both jumped to object to this, talking over the top of each other and Merton, who held up his hands for silence.

“Look, guys, it's not that I don't appreciate the show of solidarity, believe me I do, more than you know. It's been a long time since I've had anyone in my corner, but this isn't something you two are going to be able to stop.” He shrugged. “It's high school, and I'm the weird kid, the easy target, this is textbook stuff, and they're not going to stop just because someone _tells_ them to. And trust me when I say things have been way better since you two came into my life. And as much as I would enjoy the, admittedly well deserved, attention, neither of you can be there to protect me 24/7. and if it's not Chuck, it's someone else. Like I said” he paused, indicating himself “easy target.”

He had a point, but that didn't mean Tommy was happy about it.

“Can't you at least tell one of the teachers about it instead?” Tommy said, a pleading note in his voice. Doing nothing about this just didn't sit right with him.

Merton scoffed. “Oh yeah, like the teachers are going to be able to do anything.”

 _Well yes_ , Tommy thought, _that's what teachers are there for aren't they? To stop that sort of thing?_ But apparently Merton disagreed.

“It's not like they beat me up on a regular basis or anything” he said, as if that made it any better. “So all the teachers will do is tell them to stop it and then they won't; they can't actually _do_ anything, without you know, kicking them out of school or something, which would not help at all. They'd just find me outside of school and beat the crap out of me instead. Trust me, I've been through it before in middle school.” he said sagely "I'd rather they were just occasionally locking me in storage sheds when it suits them than doing something to give them a vendetta towards me."

All those anti-bullying campaigns had lied to Tommy.

“And it's no big deal,” Merton went on “I mean, one time some kids from an entirely different school decided to give me shit about the way I was dressed. Of course, this was back when I still wore make up so admittedly, I was an even bigger target than I am now-”

“So what did happen to your nose the other week if Chuck didn't hit you?” Tommy asked, cutting Merton off before he could get any further into his (disturbingly casual) first hand account of inter-school bullying.

“Oh.” Merton blushed faintly. “Well, technically I did hit it on my locker door, it's just that Chuck and his minions were the ones that slammed me into it.”

It was going to take everything in Tommy's power not to pound Chuck's face in next time he saw him.

 

\---------------

 

For the first time Tommy has a clear idea of the social divide that he and Merton have bridged between them. Tommy had never been bullied in his life, he'd always had friends, and always been popular; Merton was the polar opposite to all of this. He felt like his whole world-view had been knocked on it's head, and he has no idea how to set it right again.

But, true to his word, Tommy doesn't do anything to Chuck. Except maybe be a little more aggressive than was strictly necessary towards him during football practice. And maybe just be more hostile towards him in general. But other than that he did nothing. He didn't need to anyway, because Chuck turned up to school one day with a vicious looking bruise on his cheek, telling everyone it was from practice. It definitely wasn't from practice, and Tommy catches Lori grinning to herself when she over hears this story in the hallway. Tommy was glad she was on their side.

The bruise on Merton's cheek faded quickly, which Tommy is immensely grateful for, because he couldn't stop himself from staring at it every time he looked at Merton. It was starting to get kind of awkward (“Seriously Tommy? We fight monsters on a weakly basis and you're worried about a little bruise? I think at this point I can handle one sub-par punch to the face.”). Both he and Lori stuck a little bit closer to Merton at school after the Shed Incident. They made sure to stand on either side of Merton if they pass Chuck in the hall, who, Tommy noticed, avoided Lori's gaze with forced casualness. He had no doubt Merton knew exactly what they're doing, but he didn't protest, and even seemed to enjoy the extra attention.

Things seemed OK after that; Merton was right, no one was beating him up on a regular basis or anything like that, so maybe he didn't need to worry about him after all. Still, now that he and Lori had taken to tailing Merton almost everywhere, Tommy had hope that the school had got the message about messing with his friends. But apparently the wolf hadn't got the message that Merton was _absolutely_ _fine_.  
  
There was always a sort of low hum in the back of his mind, an awareness that said "look out for Merton, protect Merton". It was equal parts Tommy and the wolf, and it was there for Lori too, however it was always more prominent with Merton; he needed rescuing every other week after all. But lately this low hum had risen to a constant buzz whenever he thought there might be even a slight threat to Merton's well being.

He figured it was a werewolf thing, a weird pack mentality that made his wolf brain say 'mine' when it came to Merton. It wasn't quite the same with Lori, he reasoned desperately with himself, trying to make this as not-weird as possible, because he knew she could look after herself. That was why he was acting this way. Why he found himself suppressing growls when people bumped carelessly into Merton on the way to class, satisfying himself by glaring at the back of a nameless student's head instead of actually tearing their head off, and why he found himself hovering protectively around Merton even outside of school. He came very close to wolfing out one night at the Factory when someone knocked into Merton, making him spill his drink. He did growl then, and Merton had to hold him back from starting a fight, dragging him outside into the alley to talk him down.

It wasn't until he almost dislocated Travis's arm while pulling him off Merton one day, that he finally confronted him on his recent behaviour.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Merton hissed angrily, pulling him aside. "Do you want the whole town to know you're the werewolf!? Because it's only a matter of time, the way you've been acting lately!"  
  
Merton was right of course, he always was about these things, but Tommy frowned, feeling an irrational, misplaced sense of anger start to bubble up inside him.

"Hey, I was sticking up for you back there! Or would you rather I let T'n'T get you reacquainted with the inside of your locker?" he snapped.  
  
Merton made a frustrated noise.

"Yes, you helped me out as usual, and while I'm grateful for that, I'd rather you didn't do it by exposing yourself to the entire school!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Poor choice of words, but you know what I mean!" he fumed.

“Fine, I'm sorry! Next time I'll leave you and your locker alone together.” He stormed off before Merton can reply, leaving him just as confused as Tommy felt about everything that had been going on with him lately. He felt guilty about losing his temper and he couldn't figure out why, and he spent the rest of the day glaring at everything and sulking through his remaining classes. By the time the final bell rang Tommy was in foul mood and really wanted nothing more than to just go home. Unfortunately, he and Merton had already made plans to hang out at The Factory that night, and Tommy didn't want to cancel, fearing it would make things worse between them. 

 

\---------------

 

They did go to the Factory, but neither of them did much talking. An awkward atmosphere settled over their usual table; the argument from earlier still hung in the air between them and the tension was too much for Tommy's already frayed nerves.

“I'm gonna go get a drink.” He muttered, slinking away from their table and over to the bar, making a tactical retreat. He was glad of the reprieve, maybe it would give him time to think of how to fix things. It would help if he could just figure out _what the hell was wrong with him lately._ He hovered around the bar a little longer than was strictly necessary, trying to collect his thoughts, and his drink was already half gone by the time he headed back to the table.

He couldn't see Merton anywhere. He felt a prickle of unease go through him, and tried to chalk it up to his weird...issues about Merton lately, but he definitely can't see any Goths in the room, and _he was here like 5 minutes ago- why did he leave him alone for so long- where was he-_

His ears caught an odd noise underneath the music and chatter of the other patrons. It was coming from the door leading out into the alley behind the Factory, and he made his way over to it.

“-no girls around to protect you this time Dingle.”

“Well, arguably there weren't any girls around to protect me last time either-” Merton yelped, suddenly falling silent.

“Don't get smart with me, freak.”

Tommy slipped through the door just in time to see Chuck, hands clenched in the front of Merton's shirt, shove him back, hard.

Merton stumbled backwards, and Tommy had the time to think that the movies got it right, things like this did go in slow motion, _because he could see where this was going but it was too late to do anything he just had to watch and_ -

The sound of his friend's skull connecting with the wall snapped through the air like a gunshot, leaving his ears ringing.

His heart jumped painfully in his chest as he watched Merton sank to the floor, barely managing to brace himself on the wall on the way down. He didn't move, shaking hand pressed to his forehead, and Tommy saw blood seeping through his fingers, tasting copper in the air.

He saw red and suddenly he couldn't tell where the wolf ended and he began anymore, as he charged forward, knocking Chuck to the floor. His fist collided with a sickening, satisfying, crunch with the side of the other boy's face, and he pulled back before he could recover, hitting him again, and he could hear an awful, visceral noise and oh, its him. A horrible, roaring scream that's equal parts Tommy and equal parts wolf and _he can't stop it, he can't-_

There were cool fingers gripping his arm. _Tommy_ , a voice said. _Tommy_. That was him. He was Tommy, and the voice. The voice was Merton.

His vision cleared but the red stayed, staining his scraped knuckles and dripping from Chuck's nose. He was shaking, he realised, chest heaving with panicked breaths and he looked up into the scared face of his best friend, and _oh, he was the one who put that look there, oh god-_

The wolf whined pitifully using Tommy's mouth, and he _doesn't know how he's supposed to fix this-_

Merton tugged on his jacket “Tommy, we need to get out of here before someone sees us.”

Chuck groaned on the floor, and Tommy was the one that put him there, and all he could smell was blood-

“Tommy move, now!”

He could hear voices approaching the door, _Chuck's friends_ , he thought distantly, _they're looking for him_.

He surged unsteadily to his feet, grabbing hold of Merton's arm and pulling him out of the alley. He doesn't stop until they're several blocks away, tucked away in a deserted street in quieter corner of town. He doesn't let go of Merton the entire time and he still doesn't even after they've stopped, and he couldn't seem to stop _shaking_ -

“Are you OK?” He asked Merton, pulling him forward to get a better look at his head.

“I think so.” Merton said, hissing as Tommy tried to assess the damage with shaking fingers. The bleeding had already stopped, leaving a bloody line across pale skin.

“When I saw the blood I-” Tommy heard his voice waver and he hated it, he hated that he'd made a mess of this whole thing, that he'd lost control-

“Tommy.” Merton's hands rested gently over his own, and he looked up, meeting Merton's eyes.

“I'm OK.” He said, his voice choked with fear and reassuring sincerity.

Tommy felt drained suddenly, tired right down to his bones, and he pulled Merton forward, crushing him in a desperate hug. He buried his face in Merton's shoulder, heedless of the awkward angle as he leaned down. Merton was running his hands over his back, whispering reassurances in his ear that he couldn't distinguish, and it was all Tommy could do not to cry.

Eventually he pulled back, wiping his eyes on his sleeve, and seeing that Merton's eyes are suspiciously wet too.

“I- I'm so sorry Merton, I didn't mean to-”

Merton offered him a tired smile.

“It's OK Tommy.” It didn't feel OK.

“Oh god, what about Chuck? What if he's got brain damage? What if I _killed_ him?” Tommy panicked, voice rising a hysterical octave with every 'what if'.

Merton rolled his eyes. “Relax Tommy, it can't have been that bad, you didn't even wolf out.”

He blinked. “I didn't?”

Merton shook his head, “Nope, you only hit him what, 3 times tops? And whatever was going on in there” he tapped the side of Tommy's head “Tommy Dawkins was in the driver's seat. The wolf may have been doing some back seat driving, but-”

“What was going on” he cut him off, reaching up and catching Merton's still tapping hand “was that I thought he'd seriously hurt my best friend.”

Merton stilled looking sheepish. “Thanks.” He offered him a small smile.

Tommy patted him on the shoulder, feeling relief settle over him at last. “I'm just glad you're OK.”

“Ah...about that...”

That was all the warning he got before Merton threw up all over his shoes.

 

\---------------

 

They spent the rest of the night in A&E while Merton has his head examined (“Haha very funny Tommy”) and, luckily, it turned out to just be a bad bump. Merton's genius brain got off with nothing but a killer headache, a nasty cut, which to, Tommy's dismay required 3 butterfly bandages. Unluckily, they were both still minors, not to mention Merton needed to be supervised for the next 24 hours at least, in case there are any unforeseen symptoms, which meant they had to call Merton's Mom. She was frantic on the phone, as they fed her some story about Merton tripping on the stairs. She dropped Tommy off home after picking them up at the hospital, but not before she hugged him tight, thanking him for being there for her son. Tommy stood awkwardly, making eye contact with Merton who was still sitting in the car, who just laughed at his plight, the jerk.

It was as he sank into bed that night that it clicked into place, the missing piece of a puzzle he didn't realise he was even putting together. The wolf pushed the thought, nosing it out of his subconscious and into the forefront of his mind just before he fell asleep.

He'd fallen in love with his best friend.

 

\---------------

 

He woke up the next morning, swimming gradually into consciousness, feeling like he'd forgotten something important. He rolled over, pulling the blankets tighter around himself, trying to remember what it was. He didn't have any homework, so it wasn't that, and needed to call Merton before school to see how he was feeling and-

Oh. That was it. He blushed, stomach lurching unpleasantly, pushing the last cobwebs of sleep off his mind. The thought from last night hadn't faded in daylight, and if anything he felt it more clearly now that he was awake. It had also become a hell of a lot more scary as he realised for the first time exactly what he was feeling. It was how he'd always felt when he'd imagined how things would be in the future, he realised, when he thought about having a girlfriend who he'd propose to and they'd live happily ever after with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog. Only now the picket fence had been replaced with visions of spiky black hair and more black items of clothing than one person should reasonably own. The dog was still there, which was a relief. Only it seemed to have been joined by a snake.

Tommy was a hopeless romantic at heart, and though these intrinsic details of his perfect future had changed, the feeling was the same. The fact of the matter was, that whatever future he envisioned for himself, Merton was always there. He'd just never realised in what capacity he'd wanted to have him in his life. He thought of Merton's smile and he felt like he was home. He shoved his face into his pillow. Oh God, he was so screwed.

Eventually, when he was finished panicking, he dragged himself out of bed and got ready for school. Afterwards he called Merton, ignoring the new-found butterflies in his stomach, because he was not 12 years old, thank you very much.

“Hey, how you feeling buddy?” he said, once Merton's Mom had handed the phone over, because _that nice Dawkins boy was on the phone for him_.

He heard a groan in response, and smiled to himself.

“Like a 15th century medical student has been using my skull for trepaning practice.” If Merton was complaining he was probably fine, Tommy decided.

“What's trepaning?” he asked.

This turned out to be a mistake, because Merton's 15 minute impromptu lecture on medieval medical procedures almost made him late for school. It was also really, really gross, but Tommy could tell it had cheered Merton up, or at least distracted him from his headache. Only Merton could find drilling holes into peoples skulls an interesting conversation topic. Tommy felt himself smile at the thought, butterflies helpfully reminding him that he was indeed, quite smitten with this particular weirdo.

 

\---------------

 

Chuck turned up at school with a broken nose, a black eye and a fabricated story involving a gang of at least 4 attackers. By some miracle he doesn't seem to realise that it was Tommy who attacked him. He filled Lori in about what had happened the previous night, omitting his little revelation.  
  
"You mean you just beat the crap out of him?" She said, giving him an appraising look.  
  
He groaned, dropping his head down onto his desk.  
  
"I guess..."  
  
He heard Lori stifle a snort.

His head shot up from the desk, face flushing.  
  
"It's not funny Lori!"  
  
"It's kinda funny.” she admitted, smiling mischievously “Imaging you wailing on Chuck."  
  
“You weren't there Lori, you didn't see how I -" he cut himself off, looking away, throat tightening momentarily.

"How I lost control." he finished quietly.  
  
Lori was looking at him strangely, searching his face for something. "You wolfed out?"  
  
"No- I -" he made a frustrated sound, running his hands over his face. "Merton says that I didn't but... I just... I don't know- lost control." He could feel Lori watching him, and he glanced up to find her watching him expectantly. He swallowed, oddly nervous all of a sudden.

"I saw Merton was hurt and I just..." he trailed off awkwardly, worried that if he said anything further Lori might get suspicious. He'd barely has time to try and sort out his newly identified feelings towards Merton, never mind letting anyone else in on the secret.  
  
He cleared his throat "I was scared he was really hurt and I overreacted I guess." It sounded lame even to his own ears even though it was true.  
  
"Well," Lori said at length, "at least no one was seriously injured, and Chuck got what was coming to him."  
  
"Seriously injured? Lori I broke his nose!"

She looked at him challengingly. "Are you saying he didn't deserve it? Not even a little bit?"  
  
"Well..." He couldn't pretend the black eye hadn't given him a perverse sense of satisfaction.  
  
"He's fine, Tommy, he showed up to school today didn't he? That's more than you can say for Merton " she said darkly "And he's a jerk anyway, it'll do him some good to be on the receiving end for once."  
  
"Look, I just feel bad about what I did OK?" he said, a little desperately. This was way too much to deal with so early in the morning. "Can we just drop it, please?"  
  
Lori had that look on her face, the "I know you're not telling me something and I'll find out what it is eventually" look, and Tommy resisted the urge to gulp. But she did leave it, perhaps sensing that  whatever was going on in Tommy's head was something she shouldn't push.

 

\---------------

 

Tommy tried not to think about his newly discovered feelings for Merton during school that day. English Lit. wasn't exactly the best place for some sudden soul searching and an adolescent sexual crisis after all, but he kept getting lost in his thoughts, wondering if Merton would be back at school tomorrow. He felt an odd loss without him there, even though he only saw him a matter of hours ago. The wolf felt lonely in his head in away in never had before. It was ridiculous really, because he'd gone longer without seeing Merton and been just fine. But he felt unsettled in a way he didn't understand and couldn't describe. Maybe it was a werewolf thing.

He called Merton when he got home to see how he was feeling, and felt a calmness wash over him at the sound of his friend's voice.

That was, until Merton told him his mom was making him stay at home for at least another two days.

 

\---------------

 

Every day Merton wasn't at school Tommy felt a strange throb of disappointment inside himself, like there was some vital part of himself missing. He wondered if this was what was like to be in love. He'd never been in love before so he didn't really have a basis for comparison, but he feels Merton's absence keenly and there isn't anything else he can think of that would make him feel that way. He'd never felt like this with any of his other crushes, or girlfriends for that matter. He'd never felt like that with Stacey, but then again how many times had he ditched her in favour of Merton? Maybe it had been a sign, he thought, that he always chose Merton over Stacey. A big sign saying "CRUSH ON MERTON DINGLE AHEAD" but he'd been too busy fighting monsters to look up and see it, and had kept walking blindly down that road. He suspects the wolf knew how he felt long before he did. Maybe he'd been falling in love all this time and he just hadn't known it. He thought back to that day in the bathrooms, how the sight of Merton's bloody nose had made him howl inside, the wolf pushing under his skin. Oh yeah, the wolf had known.  
  
True to Mrs Dingle's word, Merton didn't come to school for three days and although he was grateful he had time to adjust to his feelings, it was the longest three days of Tommy's life. He didn't dare actually go over and visit him after school because he's not sure he can control himself if they were alone. He had an awful feeling the wolf would try to get him to do something embarrassing, like lick Merton's face. Or worse, try to kiss him.

And if he hadn't already been sure of his feelings towards Merton, the surge of genuine, unadulterated affection that washed over him when he saw him walk through the doors to school on Thursday morning would have been enough to convince him.

His face split into a wide smile as he approached him, giving him as brief a hug as he dared, fighting his need to just lean down and kiss him every step of the way.

"It's good to have you back buddy." he said, and Tommy was sure he'd never meant anything so sincerely in his life.

 

\---------------

 

Now that his mind is open to the possibility it was all he can think about. He wanted to kiss his _best friend_. Which as an alarming thought but it doesn't stop him from thinking about it. And imaging it. Frequently. And in vivid detail. He became hyper aware of just how physically at ease he and Merton were around each other. He never gave it much thought before when he threw an arm over his shoulder or leaned in closer to talk to him, but now he felt his heart stutter every time he so much as came close to Merton. He didn't know what to do about it, sure that his friend was bound to notice the change eventually. And every day it got worse and worse. He found himself staring at his friend more and more, imagining how it would feel to press their lips together, imagining kissing him right there in the hall, pressing him against the lockers-  
  
He was suddenly very glad that Merton was so skilled at skipping Gym because Merton in gym clothes was a distraction he wasn't sure he could be discrete about. The fact that he had seen Merton _naked_ , after the invisibility issue, had already come back to haunt him. Months ago he never even gave it much thought, but now that he had apparently had some sort of mystical gay werewolf awakening (he was determined to blame the wolf somehow, you didn't just have a change in sexual preference overnight), it was all he could think about. But he was still pretty sure he liked girls. He just happened to like Merton a whole lot more. And Merton just happened not to be a girl. No big deal. Oh, who was he kidding, this was _definitely_ a big deal.

He was doing it all backwards, he thought, falling in love first and being attracted after, and again it just _had_ to be the wolf's fault. But then Tommy had always been a creature of instinct, even before the bite, and he'd grown so close to Merton so fast, maybe he'd always been attracted to him and just not realised it for what it was. But maybe the wolf had, on some primal level. It would explain a lot, really. Why he'd been so protective of Merton, why he felt so at ease when he touched him, hell it would even explain why he felt the need to touch him so _often_.

Thinking so much gave him a headache so he stopped, sticking to the facts. He was probably-OK he was definitely, completely, in love with Merton. He was also definitely attracted to Merton. He still thought Pamela Anderson was hot so he wasn't gay, exactly, but he wasn't straight either. OK. He can deal with the facts. He also had no idea if Merton was even interested in guys, let alone him, and this fact was the one he couldn't deal with.

But still, Tommy is a wolf of action, and now that he'd come to terms with how he felt he was going to do something about it. Just very subtly. And slowly. So as not to completely destroy the most meaningful friendship of his entire life. No pressure.

 

\---------------

 

And over the next week he touched Merton just _slightly_ more than usual, doing things that slipped just past the boundaries of what could be termed friendship and gauged his reactions. Testing the waters, so to speak. OK, so mostly it was because he was still terrified about what would happen when he eventually told Merton (he would, one day, he swore), but who could blame him? He'd never even had a crush on a guy before and here he had gone and jumped in at the deep end and fallen in love with one.

 He started to press his leg against Merton's if they were sitting next to each other. He wasn't even sure if Merton noticed this but, he didn't move away and that was better than nothing. Then he progressed to moving his hand slightly lower when he patted Merton on the back, or put on arm around his shoulder. Sometimes, if circumstances were kind and called for him to steer Merton in a certain direction, he placed his hand gently in the middle of his back, fingers brushing his shoulder blades. Tommy felt the shift of muscle and bone under his hand and though he caught Merton giving him an odd look the first time this happens, but he didn't object and seemed to take this change in dynamic in stride. So far, so good.

Lori noticed. Of course Lori noticed, the girl had eyes like a hawk and was one of the most perceptive people Tommy had ever met.

“You like him don't you?” She said, apropos of nothing one day.

“What?” Tommy said, turning to her, a little embarrassed he hadn't been paying attention. He'd been distracted by, uh, more pressing issues.

She nodded her head, smiling knowingly, gesturing to where Merton was reaching up to staple a Gothic Fantasy Guild Flyer to an empty spot on the school bulletin board. If anyone had been watching they would have found themselves with a nice view of Merton's ass accompanied by a pale band of skin where his shirt was riding up.

He felt all the blood rushing to his face, which really was preferable to where it had been trying to head before, at being caught out. He'd been too busy staring at Merton to hear a word she'd said before her question. Had he been smiling fondly? He hoped he hadn't been smiling fondly.

His silence would have been damning enough but he knew there was no way his face wasn't on fire, so he just looked pleadingly at Lori. This was not a conversation he wanted to be having in the middle of the hallway with Merton 8 feet away.

For once, she was merciful, and she grinned at him, jabbing her finger in his direction.

“We are so talking about this later. I'll leave you two alone.” She whispered, before sauntering off looking smug.

“Hey, Tommy can you help me out here?”

He sighed, already dreading his upcoming Baxter-style interrogation. He took the moment to stand closer to Merton than was necessary, hovering behind him and brushing their hands together as he took the stapler and flyer from him. He leaned into Merton lightly as he reached up to put up the flyer, his side brushing his friend's shoulder. He smiled to himself when Merton didn't pull away.

 

\---------------

“Just tell him!” Lori said over the phone that night.

She'd spent the better part of an hour ringing as many juicy details from him about his Merton-centred affections and Tommy was about ready to drop dead from embarrassment. She thought it was _adorable_. And had said so. Often.

“Seriously, I always thought you'd be perfect for each other, you're practically married as it is, but I was so sure you were straight!”

“Just me? What about Merton?” asked Tommy, ignoring the flutter of nerves that the word 'married' sent through him.

She scoffed “What did you just sleep through that entire speech he gave about how much he loved Vincent Price? You could practically see the hearts in his eyes.”

Tommy did remember that conversation, if slightly differently than Lori apparently did.

“You're telling me you think Merton has a crush on Vincent Price?” he said doubtfully. That wasn't exactly conclusive evidence of anything. Merton was very enthusiastic individual; he could probably accidentally convince someone he had a crush on a table lamp if you got him going enough.

“There's no thinking about it, I know! Trust me Tommy, Merton isn't straight.”

Tommy chewed his lip, trying to suppress the flare of hope that surged up inside himself.

“But what if he is?” he said, voicing the thought that had plagued him since this whole ordeal began. “Or worse, what if he isn't and he doesn't feel the same way about me?”

Worry chewed at his gut in the way it often did when he thought about this subject. Merton was an oddly tactile person, it was entirely plausible he'd just been reading too much into his acceptance of Tommy's sudden need to touch him more. The gears of doubt were turning in his head. What if he'd just misread everything?

“Well you'll never know if you don't talk to him!” Lori practically shouted down the phone. “You've been subtly feeling him up for almost a month Tommy! Make a move already!” She slammed the phone down.

Tommy didn't really understand why Lori was so frustrated. It wasn't like she was the one who was crushing on their best friend.

But she had a point, he had to concede. He'd been putting it off for too long, telling himself he would tell Merton eventually, but keeping the 'when' a comfortably vague way off. It had been nearly a month since he'd realised how he felt about the other boy, not to mention the months they'd known each other beforehand. It was probably reasonable to assume at this point that even if Merton didn't feel the same he wouldn't freak out and put an end to their friendship right then and there. So really, he had to admit to himself, he was just scared that Merton didn't feel the same way. He didn't know what it was like to have his heart broken and he wasn't eager to find out. Tommy had always considered himself to be a reasonably brave person, he did fight monsters on a regular basis after all, but apparently when it came to Merton he was downright cowardly. Funny, you'd think the monsters would put things in perspective.

By the end of the week, he told himself on Tuesday morning. He'd do something by the end of the week.

 

\---------------

 

He waved goodbye to Merton on Friday, thinking desperately, this doesn't count, I still have two more days. By Saturday night he still hadn't done anything and was sitting trying to justify leaving it until next week when the phone rang. It was Merton. Speak of the Devil, Tommy thought. They made plans to hang out at the Factory the next day (really there was just no where else to hang out in Pleasantville). Tomorrow, Tommy thought. I'll do it tomorrow. Maybe.

 

\---------------

 

By the time they met up at The Factory the next day he was none the wiser as to how he was going to tell Merton how he felt about him. Somehow he just couldn't envision himself actually doing it.

He was standing over by the bar ordering their drinks, when he looked over and saw someone talking to Merton. He didn't recognise him (he was sure if there was someone at their school who dressed like that he'd remember them). He was wearing more black than even Merton managed on an average day, and looked a little nervous under his make up. Tommy was too far away to hear what they were saying but he didn't seem to be bothering Merton so he turned back to the bar, waiting for the drinks. Maybe they were friends or something, both being part of the very small number of Pleasantville Goths. Or maybe it was presumptuous to assume all Goths knew each other.  
  
He was still there when Tommy headed back over to the table but when he looked up and saw him approaching he said a hasty "see you later" and all but ran back into the crowd.  
  
"Who was that?" he asked.

'Hm? Oh, his name is Peter." Merton said mildly.

"Does he go to our school? I don't think I've seen him around."

"No, he said he goes to a school on the other side of town."

"Wait, so you don't know him? I thought maybe you were friends." People willingly engaging in social situations with Merton was a rare thing indeed. Even among the other Goths and school outcasts Merton was a bit of an oddity.  
  
"No, he just came over to give me his number."

If Tommy had been drinking he would have choked, but thankfully, his drink was untouched and firmly on the table. So he just choked on air instead. He didn't know what was more alarming, that Merton had so casually dropped this bombshell in his lap or that he wasn't more excited about a potential date, as was usual Merton procedure. How often did guys ask him out?!  
  
"Oh- uh" he cleared his throat "so...you going to call him or...?"  
  
"Probably not to be honest. He's not really my type." Merton replied absently.  
  
"What is your type?" It slipped out before he could stop it, sounding far too intent to be a casual question and Merton looked up at him, sharply, and, _oh God this was it, the ball was rolling now-_  
  
A heavy hand slapped down on Merton's shoulder and he jumped, drink rattling against the table. It was one of Chuck's friends, of the big and stupid variety. Tommy searched his mind for a name. Jimmy? Jeremy? Joseph! That was it. He's pretty sure he got kicked off the team because he couldn't get his grades up. And his hand was clamped in a decidedly non friendly manner on Merton's shoulder where it has no business being at all. The wolf growled, pulling on its metaphorical leash.  
  
"Hey freakshow don't think you're going to get off easy just because Chuck got interrupted last time."  
  
If Tommy weren't so busy trying to control himself he would have pointed out that "last time" was well over a month ago, so whatever this was was a bit late in coming, but he bit his tongue. Waiting. He wouldn't interfere unless he needed to. He didn't need to break anyone else's nose.  
  
Merton squeaked. "I'm not sure you could qualify last time as 'getting off easy' when I spent 5 hours in a hospital but-"  
  
Joseph pulled Merton roughly our of his chair and Tommy was on his feet before he even knew it, standing between them. Joseph's fist was already drawn back, other hand clenched in Merton's shirt, and Tommy moved further in front of him, leaning in close.  
  
"Might wanna think twice about that, Joseph." he said voice low, threat unmistakable, even to a bonehead like him.  
  
Joseph sneered. "Oh yeah Dawkins? What you gonna do about it?"  
  
Moments later he was doubled over wheezing after Tommy's fist has gotten up close and personal with his stomach. He'd also kicked him pretty hard in the balls first, so that probably had something to do with it too.  
  
"You so much as look at my friends funny again and you'll be the one not getting off easy after I find out about it." he said darkly.  
  
He grabbed Merton, who was gaping at the spectacle, and pulled him towards the door.  
  
It wasn't until they were halfway over to the exit that Tommy realised he was pulling Merton along by his hand. He tightened his grip a fraction and didn't let go.  
  
"Uh Tommy?" Merton asked  
They had just gone out through the doors and back onto the street.  
  
That was it. Tommy decided. He'd had enough. He stopped abruptly, feeling Merton bump into him. He spun around putting his hands firmly on Merton's shoulders.  
  
"Merton." He said taking a deep breath. Here we go.  
  
"I like you."

…

  
"Uh...I like you too Tommy, but what's-"  
  
"No, no" he huffed out a frustrated breath. "I mean I like you, Merton." he said, enunciating clearly ('Love' was a whole different can of worms that he was not doing to try and open on the sidewalk in broad daylight) "I want to go out with you."  
  
He waited for Merton to respond, stomach churning unpleasantly.  
  
Merton looked him up and down squinting suspiciously. "You're not possessed or anything are you?"  
  
Tommy whined in frustration. "NO! I want to go out with you OK? I want to date you, I want to go steady, I want to be your boyfriend, whatever you want to call it, how much clearer do I have to be?!" His voice had risen to a frantic shout by the time he'd finished, and Merton hadn't said anything he was just staring at him- oh no- oh God, he'd fucked up, he'd-  
  
"OK."

...

He couldn't have heard that right.

"Ok?" No way it was that easy.

"Yeah, OK."

He waited for the other shoe to drop. Nothing happened.

"...Are you sure?" He said lamely.  
  
Merton heaved a put upon sigh, like he always did when he thought Tommy was being particularly stupid.  
  
"Tommy, I've had a crush on you pretty much since we became friends, really it's a miracle you never noticed. And who in their right mind would say no if Tommy Dawkins asked them out, I mean have you looked in a mirror lately-"  
  
Tommy decided now was as good a time as any to kiss his boyfriend.  
  
He pressed their lips together, He'd never felt so nervous kissing someone before, and his heart pounded in his ears. They both stood there, frozen for a split second, but then Merton tilted his head, pressing back, and Tommy thought, _it just doesn't get any better than this_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Chuck was my scapegoat for this fic, because I couldn't be bothered to think of a fictional bully for Merton in any detail. In fact, this was originally supposed to be a fic about taking Merton's bullying more seriously but it completely got away from me and turned into...this. Also there is nothing medically accurate about that head injury, it's just cobbled together from personal experience from people I know so don't think too much about it.
> 
> Feedback is both welcomed and appreciated, especially since I have other fics planned, I want to know if I'm getting the hang of writing the characters!


End file.
